God. I am NOT attracted to her, I don't think. I mean, I think she's absolutely fucking gorgeous and stunning and all that, but I am pretty sure I'm not attracted to her.

I just want to be close to her, that's what it is. And it's so frustrating because the longer I go without seeing, that feeling to be closer starts manifesting as attraction. But then I feel like an idiot because once we talk, it's not that. I just want to be closer.

It's a pattern and I know it. It's because it's been almost two weeks. And when it's been this long, when I don't see her for this long, I start to think I'm attracted to her again. But then when I do see her and get a chance to talk, it goes away and I realize it's just a desire to be closer, to be friends.

It's just frustrating as hell.